Empowerment vs Degradation as a hot female artist on the internet

I make art for outdoorsy, adventurous, and western-mountain loving gen Z and millennial femmes. That’s my target audience, and that's who buys the VAST majority of my work. And that should come as no surprise, as I fall solidly into that category. We love bright colors, have a soft spot for animals, and have a maximalist streak in our granola-girl tendencies. But this fall, I unintentionally expanded my online audience to include middle aged men who love to DM female strangers. 

I took this picture with the self timer setting on my camera to get an “action shot,” aka pretending to paint a new piece that I already painted. And it turned out cute! I’m in front of a five foot tall black bear surrounded by butterflies. My back is to the camera, and you can see my arm reaching up to paint, the back of my messy hair, and the top of my ugly cargo painting pants with a bit of my underwear unintentionally showing. Now I’m no fool- I knew the painting was impressive, but I also knew that I looked cool in front of it. It's giving “casual home studio chill girl.” So I posted it. 

The response was everything an aspiring artist could hope for. Many “omg amazing!” “love this!” and “so cute!” comments from my trusty base of followers. But then things started to shift. Over the next few weeks, I gained almost 1,000 followers (which is BIG for my little account) of mostly middle aged men. I would get message requests from strangers telling me I was pretty, asking me if I was single, and the classic “such strong arms and great tattoos.” On the one hand, the increased traffic to my page resulted in one of my most successful online drops to date. The comments and DMs were generally complementary and PG, with just a few being gross. On other hand, I had never felt so blatantly dehumanized by the algorithm, because my faceless body was getting all this attention. It was the back of my goddamn head and my lower back. Now I think many parts of a woman’s body are hot, but you would think the middle aged men asking you out in your DMs might want to see your face? Guess not. 

The infamous back-of-the-head photo that got me thinking.

I have always known I check off many of the stereotypical beauty standards for white women in this country. I like tight clothes, crop tops, I have cute tattoos, and I’m blonde for crying out loud. I’ve always known that my sexualization gives me attention- both wanted and unwanted. I have memories of being cat called as early as 2nd grade. That never felt good. But in 5th grade, my crush told me I had a cute butt after seeing a picture of me doing a handstand. I liked him, and he was my first “boyfriend.” I learned after a lifetime of sexual attention that people are more likely to notice me when I walk into a room, and therefore are more likely to listen to what I have to say. I was once complimented on MY LIP SHAPE at a job interview. I got the job. 

I have an undergraduate degree in women and gender studies. I’ve read thousands of pages about heteronormative beauty standards and the panopticonic policing we all participate in to reinforce these cultural norms. I also know that operating within a patriarchal system leaves women with a limited set of social capital opportunities, and “beauty” is definitely one of them. I’ve spent 27 years of my life learning how to use this capital to my and my community's advantage. If you listen to me because I’m pretty, at least I’m being listened to. I know this is a privilege, and I hope to spend the next 27 years and beyond using this privilege for good. Whatever that means. 

The “contemporary fine art scene” is not filled with young 20something women making mind blowing art. But the internet surely is. There’s the ones who live in Hawaii and post bikini pics with a little sketch book next to them. There’s the ones who only show their paintings in those slow “turn around reveal” reels, as if the cute booty shot at the beginning of the video isn’t a reveal enough. There’s even an incredibly talented landscape painter who rose to social media fame in my own town by showcasing her effortlessly outdoorsy-rad-girl-who-paints-and -is-blonde- and- hot lifestyle. The girls I’m seeing online are undoubtedly talented, absolutely beautiful, and are usually white and blonde. I honestly thought to myself- why not me? Why can’t I lean into this trope and build an art and social media empire and have an epic, care-free, and sponsor filled life? 

As I dove into the art world full time, I quickly discovered that “those types of artists” are often not “respectable.” I’ve had full blown conversations with other local female artists in Bozeman who “hate” this particular social media star because “she’s fake” and “uses her body to sell her work.” The quality of her work and the absolute success of her growing business is heavily understated or not mentioned at all in these conversations. And I’m not morally above this sentiment- I’m straight up jealous. I know plenty of young women, myself included, who are just as pretty and talented who have not risen to social media stardome. We lament the girls who blatantly use their beauty to boost sales, yet we are all trying to use our beauty more “subliminally” in our content. Because of course we know cute girls get more views. And more views equals a greater chance of your work reaching the people who want it. But if you’re a cute girl who tries to get more views, well, you might as well have a sign around your neck that says “I <3 patriarchy.”

So for the past year I’ve been posting content that showcases my art, my humor, and a lot of my face. Every so often I sprinkle in my body. I’ve felt good about what I post, feel good about how I look in these cheekier photos, and truly have tried to keep the emphasis on my socials about the art itself. But after my smashing success of bringing in the male gaze x 1000 to my page, I had a few surprising thoughts cross my mind. Should I be posting more content that speaks to these men? Should I post a bikini pic? Should I focus on “sex sells” and start an OF where I post time lapses of me painting in the nude? Should I capitalize off my own sexualization on the algorithm to get objectively more traffic to my page and boost sales? Is this empowering or degrading? I genuinely don’t know. 

When I really investigate these questions, I think what I care most about is what my community might think about me if I “leaned in.” I want the other female artists in this town to respect me and my work. I want my base of followers to support my work because they genuinely love it. I want gallery representation, sold out fine art showcases, and to be seen as a legitimate, career worthy contemporary artist. 

I think it's a shame that often a woman’s sexuality is at direct odds with her respectability. The feminist scholar in me wants to shout from the rooftops “you CAN and SHOULD use your body and sexuality how you see fit! Sex sells, and honey YOU GOT IT so SELL IT! Get your bag and RUN HUNNY!” But as sad as it is, sex work in any capacity is still highly controversial. And right now, I simply don’t have thick enough skin to take the brunt of the shame that our society feels about a woman’s sexuality. And I care more about being a “respected artist” than “hot artist” right now, and it's damn hard to be both these days in this industry. Sigh. 

I suppose what aligns most closely with my feminist ideology is to do what feels right at the time. I’m going by vibes, as the kids say. And right now, it feels good to feel hot and young in my body. It feels good to be complimented by those I actually care about. But it feels even better to create art that speaks to my community of like-minded femmes who want cute western, whimsical, and unapologetically colorful art. So I guess I’ll just continue to feel awkward, unsure, excited, and inspired with how I show up with my art online, and block the sh!t out of creeps who DM me on the internet.

cheese!